Sunny greetings from Cambodia and Thailand, where I travel with my old big buddy Fabi for three weeks! An amazing adventure from metropole to jungle, day to night, partying with all nations to some private time. We had an unbelievable time discovering another way of living, whole different cultures and special places to hang out. Personally, I feel the friendly people and Buddhism help me out to take it all easier again and -simply put- be happier😊
This experience brought me to make up my mind about life, choices and music. So here´s some deep talk (with Star Wars references) to whom it may concern and to myself:
Sitting basically in paradise at a beach, you enjoy, lean back and zoom out. At one point you start to be really honest to yourself. No “I should” or “I have to”, but just “I like to…”. We don´t have to do anything but take responsibility for our own life, meaning get by on our own someday, so financing our way of living. We just choose with what, how much do we like it, how much money, how much safety?
Me, I feel like being on a crossroad where to go. I finished study last year and now quit a job searching for another one. But why do I hesitate so much with this? “Search your feelings” (Darth Vader)
Because I already have a job, I can´t have another fulltime job. I am a musician being honest to myself. That´s what I care about most of the day since 12 years: Writing songs, playing,
listening. This is the only thing I know I will do all my life.
I want to find a way to be political active. Maybe I become a Buddhist. And I want to do more sports. But mostly I care about music. The idea of making music to a job feels exciting, free and true. Although the beginning will be hard moneywise I somewhere don´t have fear. I always know that I could play somewhere in a bar or in the underground to get some coins. At the same time I am easy with whatever everyone is doing, as long as you enjoy it. We mostly every kind of profession on this world.
However, also being honest with myself, I didn´t take it that professional and serious as a job, because I did it for myself, intrinsic, filling life with some magic. I didn´t care too much about the business, the money, because I thought I´d always get another job for that. But this division does not make the music grow as it should be and it always felt like driving with a lower gear that I like. I have totally trust in the music, now I like to put it more out there in a professional way. That means better recordings, more material for you on social media, playing more concerts etc. I want to open up a bit, also to you guys and share it to enjoying it together. Less doubts, nothing to prove. No ego shit. Somehow I sometimes forgot to enjoy what I enjoy the most. Weird, right? I guess it is all about the attitude why we do something. To prove to anyone especially oneself? Or rather to enjoy it without pressure... sounds healthier!
So what do I do now? I wanted to say “Ok, I try” but Yoda already said “Do or do not, there is no try.” So I do it! Doing it is already a definition of success, right? you cannot fail if you do it. All I need to do is pay my rent, food and what I need for living paid by music. Out of all possible ways to life I would prefer this one: Making music as much as possible, and take it as a craft, as a profession which of course includes writing thousand emails, paying bills and more but then at least for something I love.
As you know, I had a great time with Fabio “The Soulshaker” as a for the last 2,5 years and now I like to build up something new for the future. I will go on as a solo Singer-Songwriter and also expanding with a band I am searching now to take it all to a higher level.
Where you come in...
Fortunately, we are not alone in this world and get by with a little help of friends. This is the time I would like to ask you kindly for your support.
I am looking for you or you know someone who is a…
- Bass player
- Piano player
- Video maker/editor
- Booker (concerts, touring etc.)
- Expert in marketing, music business in any kind
- Or maybe you have a flat and like to have living room concert at your place. I would be happy to create a great evening with you together for your friends and ourselves. Just let me know where and when it suits you!
Thanks a lot for reading until here:)
Schüss, feels like a good relief. Guess I needed to sort out some things with myself. Long story short: I go on from here in the same direction, just more focused. I am happy about your support in any way.
I wish you all the same fun and luck going your own path.
Hope to see you all soon!